Ever since I went to the National Youth Workers Convention in Atlanta last November, it has been hard for me to look at youth ministry the same way that I did in the past. My experiences in Atlanta changed me by forcing me to see that youth ministry is more about teaching youth how to life and deal with issues in life than just keeping them in church. A successful youth group is not measured by pure numbers or even the quality of the youth 180 service. Success comes as you disciple youth to actively take ownership of their faith, contribute to God’s kingdom and plans to reach the world, and help them learn how to know God for themselves.
My journey to discovering a better way to do youth ministry began about a year ago when I first read the article, “I Used to be a Thief” by Chris Stewart. See http://www.the-next-wave.org/stories/storyReader$142 to view the entire article. Stewart chronicles how well-intentioned youth ministers and volunteer workers can actually rob parents of their God-given responsibility and position to disciple their children. Chris wrote, “The fact is, many youth ministries are built by thieves... young, excited, charismatic, full of great ideas youth pastors and volunteer workers who actually (with VERY good intentions) rob Moms and Dads of their God-given responsibility... to be the primary youth pastors for their kids. I know I did. And today I confess it. I was a thief. Many parents, I believe, in the deepest recesses of their hearts really WANT to connect with their kids on a spiritual level. They want to be the leader that their children need. But for one reason or another they fail. And for a long time I helped them fail. Many of the programs and events I created for kids to participate in did not bring families together, but instead they widened the gap between parent and child.”
What Chris had to say really resonated with me it caused me to stop and evaluate the real motives behind “my” ministry activities. It helped me see that sometimes the things that I thought I was doing to help actually caused more damage than good. Ever sense then, I have tried to look at youth ministry as just one part of holistic family ministry. The majority of the kids and youth that I serve feel disconnected from their parents and wonder where there is a place for them in church. Many of them have serious doubts and questions. But they don’t feel like church is a safe place to discuss them. There is a real spirit of fear that can be seen even on a Thursday night at the youth group. From peer pressure to doubts about really hearing from God, many youth at my church are missing out on the best life possible – the life that Jesus offers to us.
One of the most powerful session at the Atlanta youth workers conference was on preparing youth for college. I thought the session would be about deciding which college to attend, how to know what career to pursue, etc. But the speaker actually talked about how the modern church is failing to prepare kids for life after they leave home for the first time. According to George Barna, of the Barna Research Group, 75% of young people who grow up in Christian homes, or participate in church youth group activities, or attend a local church, will go off to a secular college, where they will leave their Christian faith and church. Some of these will eventually be back. But others never return.
Today, we teach youth Bible stories, worship songs and methods to keep purity pledges. But we don’t really make disciples that impact the world around them or teach youth how to know God for themselves. Most of them know what we teach them not what they have learned directly from God. Then when these youth get to college or go away from home for the first time, they have to learn how to decide what is truth for themselves. They meet smart people who challenge them to think about things that they have never had to process through on their own before. Some of them think that they have to decide between their own brains/ability to reason and the faith that they were raised to believe without question. They get caught in this either or trap. And doubt begins to erode years of sermons.
Youth today are mosaic learners. They are used to learning in a variety of different ways with multiple stimuli coming at them at once. The sermon/lecture format is not always the best way to get youth to learn something. Hands-on, encounter-based learning leaves the most lasting impression.
In the modern church, we are really skilled at impacting a student’s conscience but pretty poor at developing their personal faith. They may not smoke, drink, have sex outside of marriage, or be “bad” people. But have we shown them how to be Spirit-led, kingdom-focused rebels bent on bringing heaven down to earth? It’s not really about behavior modification but faith building. The secular universities and colleges teach how to think and reason while the churches teach what to think.
Churches and youth groups are simply meeting the demand created by its members. I believe that people flock to youth ministries with dynamic leaders because deep down inside most youth (and many adults too) don’t want to directly face God and deal with their issues. We would rather feed the momentary desire, live in denial, or feast on the revelation/wisdom of others. Just like the Israelites, we would rather have Moses go talk to God for us. We want an earthly king. The King of Kings may ask us to do something that we are not ready to do. Just as Chris Stewart was a thief stealing the heart of youth from their families are we as ministers and youth workers sometimes guilty of stealing God’s people from God? Will I ever see a sticky note on my Bible that says, “While you were out, Jesus called, and He wants His students back?”
This leads me to question if the old model of pastor-driven/platform-centered ministry really works. Sure, we need leaders. But what is their real job? Are they supposed to be the cog that everything spins around? Or are they supposed to point us to Jesus – the author and finisher of our faith?
If we don’t want to lose this generation, we have to engage them, and they must engage one-on-one with God. A cool, charismatic person as minister or leader won’t do that. He/she can impart vision and encourage them. But in the end, he/she must get out of the way and let God meet each person right where they are.
