As I get ready to chomp down on one of the largest candy bars I have ever seen, a 5 oz Butterfinger bar appropriately called the “Beast,” I am reflecting back on how my motives tend to stink. I wish that I could honestly admit that I live every day to the glory of God and don’t do things for ulterior motives, but many times I don’t. Deep down I am selfish. Chances are you are too.
While reading Spencer Burke’s Making Sense of Church, I found myself cut to the quick as the author talked about the difference between being a consumer and a steward. Consumers are out to feed their own desires and needs. They may even do ‘good’ things for wrong motives. Consumers seek easy paths and comfortable accommodations.
Consumers go fishing for compliments because they want recognition. Consumers make sure to be seen wearing the right face at the right time. Consumers want tons of stuff and packed schedules because they just can’t stand to have nothing to do or to be alone. Silence might force them to come face-to-face with the reality they have tried to avoid all of their lives. Consumers do things to make themselves feel better about their own inadequacies. Consumers have deep need for affirmation because they don’t really feel loved by anyone, including God.
But a steward lives a completely different life style. A steward realizes that all things come from God. He only does what will please God in the proper way at the right time. The key difference is the heart. A steward knows that he is loved by God, and that is simply all he needs in life. A steward knows the will of God because he has spent time learning with the Master. He knows the Master’s plans. Some today don’t really care about a person’s motivation as long as the desired results are reached. But on God’s scale, heart motivation is everything.
Many times I find that I do things with mixed motives or don’t really even know why I do what I do. I am tired of living for me, but somehow I tend to always revert back to living for me. Oh sure, I go through periods of sacrifice and proper heart motive. And I may even be better than most others walking the planet. But look who I am comparing myself to, an apathetic people with no fear of the Lord and very little belief in the Bible. How can I say that? Well if they really believed the Bible, wouldn’t they live different? Heck, wouldn’t I live a more God-centered, spirit-led life if I really believed the Bible all the time?
Sometimes I feel like I am staring in Night of the Living Dead and just don’t know how to make the movie stop playing over and over again. This is what Paul wrote about when he said that he had to die daily to the old, sinful nature. This is a constant struggle, which should drive us closer to God. But instead, we tend to run away from Him. God is the only one that can help us kill the flesh. Our spiritual man is quickened by the power of God not man.
When wrong motives are discovered, I must give my heart over to God and let Him work out the impurities. It all starts with being honest and humbling myself before God. As I submit to the power of God in my life and receive His love, I am filled with the capacity to live as God intended.
The other day while reading the Bible, I came face-to-face with my own inner struggle. I read the passage where Jesus denounced the Pharisees and religious leaders of His day for focusing on the outward appearance and forgetting about the inner heart motivation. Jesus criticized them for seeking places of notoriety where their ‘good’ works would be seen by men.
Jesus had some very harsh words for the self-righteous and glory-hogging Pharisees. In the Message Bible paraphrase depicts Jesus’ anger. He said, "You're hopeless, you Pharisees! Frauds! You love sitting at the head table at church dinners, love preening yourselves in the radiance of public flattery. Frauds! You're just like unmarked graves: People walk over that nice, grassy surface, never suspecting the rot and corruption that is six feet under" (Luke 11:43-44). Wow, I don’t want to ever be called an unmarked grave.
While reading the passage, I thought, ‘Thank goodness I don’t do that.’ Then I heard the Spirit ask, ‘Oh, you’re beyond that? You don’t ever do that do you?’ Suddenly, all of my pretensions melted like a block of ice when confronted by the fire of the Holy Spirit. I saw how I acted just like the Pharisees at times. I repented and asked God to change my heart.
Sometimes my motives are pure. Other times I do things for mixed motives. I do like to be seen and recognized for the ministry that I do. While there is nothing wrong with enjoying the call, there is everything wrong with seeking personal glory. It is nice when people know your name and give you a pat on the back. Although I know that seeking praise from men should not be my motivation, I can honestly say that I sometimes crave it. Just like a junkie getting a fix, I do things just so that I can be one of the good guys.
God is rooting this motivation out of my heart because it reflects a deeper problem. It shows that I fear men more than God and try to find satisfaction in things that will not really satisfy. Even ministry apart from the blessing of God will not produce real joy and fulfillment. God gives everything value.
If you found yourself caught up in the game of self fulfillment, consider that you are only making things worse. God designed us to be complete in Him alone. Stop feeding the Beast (selfish desires) and start living as God intended.
Living for God is the only way to truly live life to the full.
