The side of the road is not a fun place to be, especially on a hot Friday afternoon. Everyone is rushing home for the weekend. It's even worse when you're stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire.
That is the situation that my mother faced last weekend. I received a call from my mom at 3:30 p.m. She was 'stranded' on the side of the highway. Dad is out of town. Her tire had literally 'blown' up. She has called AAA. But from the sound of her voice, I know she wants my help and expects me to come.
I think to myself, 'What else can I do if she has called AAA? I have work to do.' But I know that she wants me to be there. And I do love her so I go.
Sure enough, I get there and look at her tire. It was the worse blow out I have ever seen. The first words out of her mouth were, "These kinds of things always happen when your dad is out of town. I told him that I thought the tires needed to be replaced." I looked at the other tires and asked her to pop the truck. She said, "You know I have called AAA. They will be here soon. It's dangerous out here with all the cars going by so fast. Why don't you just come sit in the car with me while we wait? I pay AAA for roadside assistance. You don't need to change the tire."
My mouth fell wide open and I looked at her as if she has lost her mind. I said, "You don't expect me to just sit here and let AAA change the tire when I can do it do you? Why did you call me if you don't want my help?" She responded, "Well, I was alone out here. Traffic is going by so fast on this highway. Your father is out of town. I didn't feel comfortable being here by myself."
She handed me the keys while I proceed to pull out the things necessary to change the tire. I bent down to look at where the jack should go. She asked me, "Are you sure you want to do this? Have you ever changed a tire like this before?" By this point, I couldn't believe my ears. I told her that I knew what I was doing and would have the spare on in a minute.
My mom hovered over me the whole time watching my every move. She continued to reiterate that AAA would probably be there soon. I told her to call AAA and cancel the service request. She said that her phone wasn't working right and that she had to wait on hold forever the last time. I gave up trying to convince her to cancel the service request. I thought to myself, 'I can just see my father's and brother's reaction if they hear that I let AAA change the tire. How could my mom question my ability to change a tire? I'm not helpless. I do know a few guy type things even though I am not mechanically inclined.
As I finished, the AAA service truck showed up. He looked at the job that I was doing. He reassured my mom that I had done it right. I gave him the glance that told him to get lost. He looked back and smiled as if to say that he had a mom too. My mother apologized for calling him out when I was on my way.
As I recently reflected on that event, I discovered that it captures many of the key differences between men and women. Of course, there are always exceptions to every rule. But stereotypes exist for a reason - they tend to be true a majority of the time. Men want to fix the problem. Women want to discuss the problem. They desire to have someone listen to them as they work it out. They want someone to be there with them more than have someone fix the situation or offer suggestions. Guys want to be strong and 'do something.'
My mother saw the traffic and was concerned for my safety. She probably would have encouraged my dad to let AAA handle it too. I am sure that my dad would have done the same thing that I did. My mother was scared and wanted someone to be there to reassure her. She wanted safety. Guys, we want tangible progress. Men like practical service because we can see something being done.
The situation also demonstrates the tension that exists between mothers and sons.
When you stop to ponder why we do what we do, there is a lot of things going on behind the scenes that shape our worldview. Learning how to understand why others act as they do is a key to relationships. I guess the sad thing is that we would do the exact same things if the situation occurred again. Or maybe that is not a sad thing it just shows us the quirky dynamic between mother and their sons. Maybe it's natural.
