Have I gotten your attention? I am sure that all of my family and friends are really curious now. I hope so because I have been single for a long time. While I have never been alone, it has been a hard journey to remain pure and focused. It can be hard to live life wondering will it ever happen. But I know for sure now.
When I went out to Seattle recently, God spoke to me about my future. He revealed that I am called to be married. There's no doubt in my mind. For years, I have struggled with the thought of marriage. For a while, I thought that I would be single forever. I envisioned myself as one of those prophet types who was destined to be "alone." I thought that I could be more useful to God that way. But I was wrong.
God has designed me to be married. The Holy Spirit has removed any burden associated with this momentous decision. I am at peace with God's plan. According to the Scriptures, when a man finds a wife, he has found a good thing. God saw Adam alone in the garden and said that it was not good.
While in the Northwest, I discovered that I had built up walls about the whole marriage issue. I had kept God out of this area and even pushed ahead in ministry as a distraction. At times, I had refused to even consider marriage. It had been eliminated from my mind as an option. This tactic kept me in a perpetual state of perceived safety because I knew the result. I had everything in control...No surprises. I thought that I was avoiding the risk of relationships. But in reality, I faced the possibility of missing out on one of the greatest blessings of a lifetime.
Marriage seemed like a venture filled with too much risk. I thought that I would be too encumbered by new responsibilities and not be able to really fulfill God's call for my life. But this is foolish because marriage is a call, and God has called me to be married. A spouse is a gift from God. She is not a burden to weigh me down. It is OK to look for a wife. I had somewhat deceived myself into thinking that I was not supposed to be married. This had become a safety blanket for me. But it offered false security because I really knew that something was not right.
So who is the lucky girl? Well her name is.... Ok, you got me. I don't know that yet. All I know is that she is out there. She is praying for me, and I am praying for her. I believe that I will meet her soon. And now that I have accepted my destiny, I am free to pursue it. I'm looking for my wife. No, I'm not going to be attending every Christian singles event, taking out a personal ad or stand on the side of the road with a "Are You My Wife?" sign. My search will focus on believing on what God has show me, praying regularly about it, and asking God if she is the one when I meet a godly women. I will be simply keeping my eyes and heart open.
One of the reasons why this has happened now is because I have learned a lot from past relationships. I was worried about messing up and hurting others or myself. But I am finally in a place where I have realistic expectations of marriage. No spouse will ever complete a person. Only God can do that. I will not make the mistake of asking my wife to meet need that only God can do. My wife doesn't have to be perfect. She needs to only to let God perfect her. In marriage, I know that God will refine me and help me be the kind of person who has something to say. Marriage and raising a family is the great incubator for truth. It will be my greatest source of inspiration and growth. My heart longs to connect with her and journey together.
I feel that such a weight has lifted. I am not confused any more. Am I worried about meeting her? Nope, not one bit. I know that all things will be revealed in time. God is faithful. I will find her because God will accomplish His plans in my life. I don't believe that I could mess this up if I proceed in faith and submission to the voice of truth.
Oh Lord, I thank You for my wife. I know that she will be beautiful on both the inside and the outside. We will have compatible visions and life calls. May we find each other and sense the bond that You want to create. Keep her safe from the lies of the enemy. Keep us both pure and steadfast to follow Your will. May our desires for You lead us to each other. Open my eyes to see her. Open her heart to receive love from me. Fill me with Your love that I have something of worth to give away. May Your will be done in my family. I thank You for all good things. Guide my search and light my path. Amen!
