Tonight, I heard Brent, a missionary from Kenya, talk at Commonwealth Chapel, an inner city church in Richmond. Brent spoke on his AIDS education program and related outreach efforts. Basically, Brent leads a program that educates college students in Kenya about the danger of AIDS. This program then serves as a gateway to a local church called the Journey. Anyway, Brent was unveiling his vision for reaching Kenya with the life of Jesus. He showed some success stories and talked about needs. Then he took a detour and did something that missionaries are not supposed to do.
Brent opened up his private struggles about how the ministry had consumed too much of his life. He talked about how ministry can be addictive. He said that his ministry had caused problems with his relationships, including his marriage. Brent talked about how putting too much of himself into ministry even led to physical health problems. Brent is back in the United States on furlough. During this time, he is trying to get everything in his life back to what it should be including his health, relationships, finances and ministry. I found Brent's admissions quite refreshing. He did not put on the typical missionary mask. Instead, his testimony challenged everyone in the room to examine their own lives. His candid confession caused me to ask, "Have I forsaken my first love?"
I like Brent struggle with keeping ministry in perspective. I sometimes get so busy doing things for God that I take my focus off simply being with Him. Sure, Christians are to be active about building the Kingdom of God. But this always starts with loving God first. It can be so easy to fall into the earning God's love mentality or the enjoying ministry so much that I lose sight of Christ trap.
Oh, Jesus. Increase my appetite and desire for You. May I be satisfied in Your love as the richest of fare. Forgive me for the times that I look elsewhere for life. May I seek and desire one thing - to gaze upon Your beauty and to worship at Your feet. Help me to grow in grace and the knowledge of You. May my heart desire You like a thirsty deer panting for water. Draw me. May I be consumed in Your love that is boundless and full of life. Amen!
