Truth is just simply truth, but discovering the reality of truth is a process. I have made this realization today while discussing with other believers and thinking through the word that I gave at church yesterday. I have no doubt that God wanted me to speak it because God gave me a sure sign. Yet, I am concerned that my words may have been misconstrued by some. Even worse, I may have misspoken in a few places or not effectively conveyed the true heart of the message that God placed on my heart. This reveals the challenge in modern prophetic exhortations and why all "words" need to be judged and not accept with blind faith. All things are to be done in order and the truth of any statement must be backed up by the full weight and witness of Scripture.
I am not even sure exactly what I said. When I started, I had some vague concepts and the first few words planned. Then after that everything just flowed. I followed the proper protocol for sharing at our church. I even followed my own rule of only speaking when I know that God has released me to do so. Actually, I didn't want to speak yesterday. I fought the burden for most of the first part of the service. Then when that one song came, I knew what I had to do. The words burned within me like a hot coal that I needed to let go of.
A number of people have confirmed that they needed to hear what the Spirit guided me to say. But why do I feel so uncomfortable with the call to speak? I don't want to mess up and say something wrong. I take the role of being a messenger very seriously. And I know that it can be easy to get deceived by our own premonitions of what God is trying to say. This entire situation is showing me that I should never be afraid to speak what God gives me to say. But at the same time, I should not be eager for the microphone. It's not about me or even the message. It is really all about God and His glory.
The lessons for me seem pretty simple. I must remain teachable and willing to admit when I make a mistake. I need to be free from the feeling that I have to be perfect before God can use me. I should continue to surround me with godly men who will provide loving support and feedback.
Jeremiah 23:29 (NIV): "Is not my word like fire," declares the LORD, "and like a hammer that breaks a rock in pieces?"
